Friend Day

Friend Day, 11.10.13

Dear Levi,

Friend Day at Southwest Baptist Church. Do you remember last year? We maxed out a row in church and took up four tables at IHOP with combined friends. I’d never felt so happy. I loved being a team with you, synchronized with you. I loved meeting your guys. I loved meeting that part of your life that was still apart from me.

None of my Midland friends came, but Tim came from Panera. You didn’t bring anyone this year, but cozied up in your little club of new coworker/besties/classmates. I tried not to assume, but I still felt some shock. You tried so hard last year to be a witness.

You led Dallas to the Lord.

I couldn’t quit crying. That night, Bailey kept leveling me with her motherly, upset stare. Anna had changed her hair black again, and… she was wearing your coat. I felt nauseous, literally sick. Her hands, her scent, her skin, in your clothing. My Levi’s clothing. I’d never, ever, ever understood jealousy until tonight.

There is nothing here. I hope you are happy… the boy I knew deserved that.

Rigel