A Love Letter

A Love Letter, 11.1.13

Dear Levi,

I just wanted to say that I lov eyou. I know it’s crazy, and most of my letters are filled with the pain and uncertainty, and all the grey days and helpless, hopeless, wistful thinking…but it’s true. I really do love you, Levi.

Everytime I see you, it sends butterflies in my stomach afluttering. And when you are in the room, somehow, my soul just knows and my eyes always search for you. I love the little glimpses that I do see of you – the way you cross your arms so shy, and how you laugh, like al ittle boy; the adorable shuffle to your walk.

Your grandma spoke of your efforts after the tornadoes to help with releif, and how you helped your pastor over the summer visit home. I love how selfless you are. How you invested in your guys at work to make them all look up to you as a close friend. You are so priceless. I don’t know what your formal ministry is at church, but I have no doubt you are going above and beyond in your everyday life for Christ as well.

I think, quite honestly, that in my subconscience, I’ve always competed with you, with what I think you’d be doing, what you would expect from me, what would make you reconsider me. I know I wasn’t good enough for you, truly, and I am so sorry. But does anything count now?

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes while we’ve been apart. I’ve tried to keep up with your profile pictures, a tiny glimpse into your life, and they always give me little baby hints. The pcitrue of your family? You are still doing your best for them. The pictrues at the statue of the Catholic Church? You’re making new friends and going out, enjoying your youth. The picture at Bricktown? You still roll up your sleeves. The photo in Starbucks? Still listening to music, reading up on world happenings. Just like my little old man…

Even the girl who you are giving it a chance with. You are fearless, somehow, with your heart. And she is so beautful, so stylish. Your taste is so good. Her smil eis so sweet, and I haven’t really hear anything bad about her – you sure upgraded from me.

It’s a new month, November.

I tell myself, Today is the day! And then I read the verse on my desk. “But as for me, my prayer is until thee, O Lord, in an acceptable time, O God, in the multitude of thy mercy, hear me…”

I love you. Unrevokably. With all my heart, sweet prince. Oh, so, so, so much. I hope someday, you’ll read this letter and know it.

Your star,

Rigel