Ramblings

Dear Levi,

Another wonderful night playing piano for the nursing home. Bro. Don gave me a big hug and slipped me 20$ again. It made my heart swell with gratitude and speechlessness. Friday and Saturday, working doubles, doubles. Tired Noelle crawling from bed. Shivering in the cold. Urging Zoila to wind through the icy streets on the long drive to work. Smiling as much as possible at Panera. Training at Midland Mortgage. I told Mary on Saturday night that I can't keep up this pace. I"m too exhausted. This year, I want some time to actually live. Go shoot photos. Upload them. Write on my blog. Make presents for my dear ones. Go run. Walk around the lake. Breathe.
I went over my medical bills with my mom. It isn't good. It's this relentless pressure in my chest. Debt I owe. Creditors calling. Thousands, thousands of dollars. How can I buy a new computer if I have to face these too? I determined to do my best this year to pay off as much as I physically can.
I miss  you.
I hope your year is staring in faith. I hope that you are warm. I miss you, Levi. I miss you so much. I"m trying to write a letter in response to GiGi, but my heart freezes up. What do I say to this dear lady? I want to be a blessing to her and I don't know how.

I love you still, even this year, 2014.

Your star,
Rigel