July 25th, 2015
Dear Levi,
It's been a very long week since you added me on Facebook & Instagram. Finally, you have your phone back. I was so happy!
But I watched you add, follow, like, comment, on all these other girls' lives and I felt that anticipation fade into familiar sadness. Like I told Kate half-laughingly, "Well now I get to feel rejection from a front-row seat!" Because that is what this feels like...
I guess I'm just a foolish girl. Part of me is still so thrilled you added me, part puzzled you don't do more. I guess I'm foolish to hope you want an actual friendship, not just friendship status? Foolish to think you suddenly would care after my life after basically three years of not caring. Foolish to think it was the first step towards bigger steps. Foolish, to think that you'd do anything fast... if you were going to do anything at all Foolish to think of a future with you, when there's just nothing, nothing, besides a very slim facade of healing. And I'm such a foolish girl to still be so in love with you, I can't help being foolish about it all.
Your star,
Rigel
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