Bailey's Graduation

May 17th, 2015

Dear Levi,
It didn't really hit me how deeply the pain would cut. The pain of saying goodbye, the pain of not being in my own graduation class picture, the pain of not having anyone there to cheer for me the pain of realizing you were there with Ana having a damn great time. I wonder if you even realized I wasn't there at all, through the crowds. It didn't hit me that it would hurt this much.

And that in the wake of the pain would be so much.. emptiness. Hearing their cheering downstairs, knowing I'll drive home to my own quiet and lonesome cottage. The only upside is that someday I'll have another graduation, another chance to have this moment. Not in the same way. But still.

And part of me wonders.... will you be there? Or if I'll even want you to be. Because right now all I can think of is how damn glad I am that you are not here. For the first time in so long, the pain makes me want to not see your face anywhere near. I'm glad you're off in the exile of bootcamp. I hope it changes you. After so many wrongs that I try to forget in sweet Noelle forgiveness, tonight the cold hard truth hits the angry, wounded tiger Noelle.

Your sure need to change

Your star,
Rigel