February 21st, 2015
Dear Levi,
I just want to talk to you. Really talk. Open up. Ask what went wrong. Ask how you are doing. Ask you if you ever think about me, every think about me in all that I have been going through. Tell you all the scary things, the sad things, the happy things and the big things. Just talk.
To breathe... Because tonight I feel like I am suffocating. because I could hit the call button, or the text button, or the message button, or the add friend button. But I can't. Because of all the signals you send, everything you said to me is about you not wanting me. And not even wanting to talk to me. Wanting that wall. And I feel like I can't breathe. Like I just need to scream, to feel anything except this cold panic in my chest.
Anyone out there, to listen? But there is no one. No one will listen, because there is nothing new to say. And no one to tell me it's okay, because it will never be okay. You will never truly care about me again... enough.
And that's it. There's just nothing tonight. And that nothingness is killing me.
Your star,
Rigel
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