A Week With Tim

Dear Levi,

I never imagined what it would be like to be friends with Tim. Not a one-time thing, but a consistent, every day kind of thing. I wondered if this was like when you guys were friend. What happened between you two? I wish I knew.
The week was the usual, boring and pointless work week for me. Except for the parts now highlighted with Tim's sweet and faithful friendship. I couldn't believe that every day, he was there again, wanting to be friends.

Tuesday - i woke him up and he was working on a surprise for me! we discussed how he hates snow. After work, we joked around and it was so nice. And then I sent him pix about the revolution. I went to sleep, but couldn't. I was so scared for ukraine. He said that if he wasn't inmy life, God would replace him. that made me so sad!!! I dont' want him replaced. He told me people tlel him secret things but I couldn't tell him mine. He fell asleep on me. =) aww.

Wednesday - woke up with him texting me. told him i dreamed about him and his congo story. He asked if we could go out with a group. We decided yes. Awkward meeting at my pew before church started, I asked him to stay =) I didn't want him to walk away. After, Lenichka saying she was proud of me. went to Starbucks! he began texting me almost immediately afterwards, did you like it, how did it go, we talked all night.. he told me about his struggles as a teenager, I told him about my time limit... probably till 3am "text me to sleep"

Thursday - talk during work, go home and sleep and wake up he'd talked w Alex made me jealous, he prayed for me in room meetings, I wouldn't promise to call him since I know he won't be there for me down the road told him to go to sleep, tried calling him but he didn't answer got sad....

Friday - woke up tight and friendly and 'dont ask about me' acting like a jerk. apolgoized later. Shared Hosea w me, said he wasn't really a morning person. Then how did he find the discipline for 5am study time each morning? He sent me some of Hosea. Told me he was praying about an intern in Texas, but not where. That made me so sad. Texas was closer than Ohio, but... I didn't want him to leave for the summer. That was selfish, but I couldn't help it. He would be going to visit in a few weeks. We talked about the situation in Ukraine. He seemed to really care. Asked me when I would be getting off. I got off early, but he'd fallen asleep! He woke up and said he had to do lights out. That made me smile... being friends with an RA. He said it was too late to not worry about me. I growled at him in jest. Talked about how marvelous it is that we are friends. Asked him for his permission for a birthday gift, and he said yes! Told him he wouldn't need to remember my birthday, it was too far away. He scolded me, and when he asked me to guess something, I decided he must have talked to Alex. Actually, he just wanted to tell me again I was beautiful. That hurt and frustrated me, but I didn't show it. Asked me to call him, and I teased him about trying that the other night. I told him I was going to try to repay his kindness, but he said "You being happy is a gift enough." That meant so much. Who cares about my happiness? And then he fell asleep on me. =) Poor sweet guy.

Saturday - We talked visitation, about pj's at Midland. I encouraged him to keep doing the right thing regarding his relationship with Mr. Souza. And he told me, again, I was beautiful. I dared him to say it to my face, and he replied he already did! Hard as I thought, I could only remember that very first day on the bench when he was lecturing me to death and said I was "an attractive young lady." And that didn't count, he didn't say beautiful. He said he was bashful talking to pretty girls but would do it when he gets the chance. I told him I was trying to figure it out, and he got defensive and said there was nothing to figure out. He kept hating on himself and finally I just yelled at him about how awesome he is. =) Asked him to pray for my coworker Kayleena. He told me about Maurissa, his favorite little girl, who told him last week that she loves him. He told me about missing his own little sister, and then texted again when he'd visited Maurissa. We joked about him having to run home in the nice weather, suit and tie and all. He told him he's had excersize-induced allergies since he was 16, reminding me of Steven. Talked about him reading Joel. About going for a picnic or horesback riding in the sunshine. Why was it so easy to talk to him? It was so simple, so easy. He told me a I was "so cool" for being a jockey in highschool. After work, I texted him about Ukraine. About the executions. About the guys not keeping their hands off of me. He seemed distracted. I told him the story about hiding in the kitchen trash can, for no reason, other than he made me smile and I wanted to laugh with him. Except... he didn't respond. For a couple hours, lights out, curfew. Apologized, said he he to "deal with something." I jsut told him goodnight but woke up that night in screaming pain, feeling like my ribs were shattering, throwing up a fountain of blood. I tried to call but he didn't answer. Levi wouldn't answer, either. THere is no one there for me.
As good as life is with Tim in it, there is nothing compared to when you were in my life. I miss you, incredibly so. Come back.

Your star,
Rigel