Along May Ave

Dear Levi,

Do you remember that horribly cold morning at Dunkin Donuts on May Avenue? We shared breakfast and our very first kiss. It is a painful memory, but still so special. When I think about that day, I usually remember what happened before in greater detail. I remember walking over to Starbucks and ordering through the window – it seemed so absurd they didn’t service indoors on such a gloomy winter morning. Do you remember how cold it was? I can still taste the coming snow in the air and feel my body shake as the cold rushed through my blood. I was wearing something light – a sweater, maybe, boots? I only remember the sapphire blue velvet skirt with buttons up the front. I wanted to look beautiful for you. I wanted my eyes to reflect how deeply and ultimately I was in love with you. I hadn’t thought about being out in the weather. I think I love the memory of these moments so much because it’s the first tiem you protected me. You pulled me under your jacket against the warmth of your chest and held my pitiful shivering body against yours. I still dream of that smell, of “home”… the intoxicating, calming bliss of Levi and Curve cologne… I don’t remember it anymore, Fevraal even no longer carries the faintest linger of that aroma so longer for, but I still dream of it at night in my deepest slumber… You help me so gently, so tenderly, your strong amazing arms cradling my head and blocking the cutting Oklahoma wind, the sad grey skies, the whole confusing world. Nothing existed in those moments for me except you. My weakness, your excruciatingly gentle care. It changed my life. You kissed my short black hair and didn’t push me away. If I could have stayed there forever, it would have been a miracle from God. Such bliss can’t exist in this life. Even the memory of it feels so surreal.Were you an angel unawares? Was it all a dream? I drove by that place this morning and dawn on my way to my new and strange job, and the glass catching the rays of the sun caught my breath. For a moment, the present was gone. And I was there with you again. Even now, it is indescribably beautiful.

Your star,

Rigel